Monday, May 4, 2009

Eddard • Jon

We finally learn the significance of the antler-in-wolf from the first Bran chapter: the stag is the symbol of the King's house. Ruh roh, scary foreshadowing detected. In this chapter, Bob Baratheon finally arrives. He has let himself go a bit, and I don't blame him. If I had just won a kingdom I'd take it easy too. We learn a bit more about geography: Eddard's lands are huge, scarcely populated, and largely inhospitable. King Bob raves about the south, where it's girls gone wild fat drunk party 24/7 and there's a distinct lack of executions, frostbite, and undead ghosts.

Bob makes a beeline for Winterfell's #1 attraction: the crypts, where the love of his life is buried. Lyanna must have been smoking hot, because Bob won a kingdom for her and still pays his respects after nine long years. If only she was alive! Bob should just get one of those Others to "Waymar" her, problem solved. Robert ends up offering Ned the Vice King position, sealed by marriage between their kids. The last time Stark and Baratheon got married, the guy in power was overthrown, so maybe he should reconsider.

Despite the antler-in-wolf sign and the dead ancestor foreboding, I assume Ned accepts the position, because if he doesn't, the plot stops and the book ends. 700 pages left means the Starks are going south. Warm weather and naked chicks here we come! Wooo spring break!
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The next chapter opens with Jon Snow drinking away his problems. Predictably, the bastard does not like the pretentious royal Lannister kids. We learn that his direwolf Ghost is awesome, and that Jon wants to join the Night's Watch. Uncle Benjen tells him that with great power comes great responsibility -- the responsibility of not having sex, not owning lands, and fighting supernatural monsters. But Jon doesn't want to father bastards, and emo rages his way out of the hall.

Outside, he meets Lannister dwarf and Cirque du Soleil acrobat Tyrion, who makes some witty quips and gives him advice. Hopefully he gets Jon to stop taking his heredity so seriously, because nobody likes whiners. It's cool that Martin isn't making the Lannisters out to be wholly evil. I actually really like Tyrion -- his line about Jon's mother being "some woman, no doubt" was great.

23 comments:

  1. So far you are spot on. The comment about Emo Jon made me giggle. And "serious" should be embroidered on the Starks banner.

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  2. This blog is extremely entertaining for a long-time reader of Martin such as myself.

    I love it.

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  3. It is nice to see someone not take this book so seriously. love the sarcasm.

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  4. Good lord keep posting. This is a blast.

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  5. I'm not trying to be an asshole or anything but am I really the only one who thinks the smartass comments aren't funny? I mean, your insight is great and you pick up on things quickly, but you're not funny, I'm sorry.

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  6. No need to apologize, I never claimed to be a comedian or even a good writer. I'm just writing my thoughts on a book I'm reading, and my sense of humor comes out in my thoughts. I can't change that. If my entries are so unfunny to you that the blog becomes unreadable, that's fine -- nobody is forcing you to read it.

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  7. I find him amusing.

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  8. Interesting blog. I admit, it was slightly disconcerting to hear Robert being called Bob, but other than that, its amusing to read about your first time experience (sorry guys, not that. Try Literotica). Tyrion is definitely my favourite character. I'll keep reading this.

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  9. "Outside, he meets Lannister dwarf and Cirque du Soleil acrobat Tyrion,"

    Oh man this got a good chuckle. Definitely one of the hick-ups you're going to realize from the first book. I'm not exactly sure what his initial plan was with Tyrion.

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  10. I'm enjoying your more light-hearted/sarcastic take on things. As long as you are genuinely enjoying the story too. Tyrion is probably my favourite character.

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  11. It's an interesting blog, and I hope you enjoy the books as I did, but please don't call Robert Baratheon "Bob".

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  12. the length/content of your summary/thoughts is just right and very amusing to read! keep going!

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  13. Yes, I enjoy your posts very much. If someone feels the need to take a jab at you, they are probably just jealous of something.

    I like your take on things and I have been chuckling with each post. :) I love, love, love the series, which is exactly why I can laugh at your jokes!

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  14. Jason,

    I'll add my voice to those praising your style. We aren't here to get the Cliff's notes of a book we have already read (I assume that a large majority of the followers of this blog will indeed be aSoIaF fans), and I for one enjoy your jokes and put-downs.

    Re: Lannisters not all-bad. While there are a few characters you'll love to hate (mostly because they are jerks), they are all realistic, with believable motivations. The unreliable narrator style of the books (where we look at other characters through the flawed eyes of the chapter's main protagonist) will make you *think* there are evil guys... until you get to see the world from their perspective.

    Hope that helps,

    Grey Wolf

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  15. Grey Wolf, that's something I didn't consider, that the POV storytelling is tainted and might not be an entirely accurate portrayal of events, that's interesting.

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  16. Yes, this is some of the best use of PoV I have ever seen used in literature. I am enjoying your blog. I too would echo to use Robert and not Bob in the future though. I can't put my finger on the exact reason why, but it annoys me mildly too.

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  17. Jon emo raging... This made me lol. I hope you make it through all of the books, I'd really like to read your interpretations of it.

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  18. Awesome! too funny.

    If I could make one comment, though, the last king was overthrown 15 years ago, not 9, which was the last time ol' Bob and Ned saw each other.

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  19. I don't quite get why calling Robert 'Bob' is such a big deal. So what? Robert's a regular guy who you'd have great fun with at parties and if the name was around he'd totally be called Bob.

    @ Chuckles, Bob 'n' Ned last saw each other at the Battle of Pyke, which was indeed 9 years before the start of AGoT.

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  20. Your power ranks are interesting. But I am a bit baffled by "Secret wife visits".

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  21. "Outside, he meets Lannister dwarf and Cirque du Soleil acrobat Tyrion"
    Tyrion wasn't supposed to be able to do that. It was edited in by accident.

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  22. Yes, the flawed POV took me a while to cotton onto. Once you accept that, it may give you a clue on the biggest mystery of the series.....

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  23. I think the words "Winter is coming" was an old way of saying "Shit's about to hit the fan".

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